This morning I stepped on the scale.  115 pounds.  ugghhh…. I can feel it in my body, see it in the way my clothes are fitting.  Feeling short of breath at the top of the third flight of stairs, still Continue reading pudge

just breathe

Session with my therapist today, who had two questions: What would it take to have the courage to face my anxiety without resorting to dysfunctional coping behaviors? What is my plan if my needs cannot be met in my new life? Continue reading just breathe

the domesticity of pie

Today another meeting with my counselor.  Today we talked about how much I don’t like endings. Why don’t you like endings? she asked. Because endings are abandonment, and I will never abandon anything or anyone who has a glimmer of Continue reading the domesticity of pie

96 Days – the Downpour and Goodbye to the little House

In retrospect, I am so glad to have pushed to move a day early.  I woke at 3 am to a down-pouring, thunder and lightening rainstorm that continued relentlessly all day long. The morning headache was intolerable. I found Birch Continue reading 96 Days – the Downpour and Goodbye to the little House

another week closer to 50

I have been tracking my mood 1-100 and my level of anxiety 1-10 and, surprisingly, over the last 30 days, there has been a vast improvement.  I do not know what I am doing differently.  Is it a physical thing, Continue reading another week closer to 50