Twas the week before Christmas

The kids hung drinking straws on the Christmas tree.   They took all the brushes and cleaning cloths out of the mop bucket and hung them around the house.  I found scrub brushes hanging off of the peaks of the christmas Continue reading Twas the week before Christmas

do you see it? messages for my heart

I sat in my car at a stop light, watching a couple standing on the street corner.  The man reached over and took the woman’s hand and they waited together.  As I watched this moment, the sad crept over me Continue reading do you see it? messages for my heart

A single woman’s perspective on February 14th

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The day started out well enough, a late Friday the 13th night beginning of a few enough shots of rum and chocolate, and a two hour chat with a dear friend of mine.  We discussed the LDS church and temple recommends.  That’s an interesting conversation to have while intoxicated.  One step at a time through that emotional minefield.

I ran a few errands Saturday morning.  Pharmacy, but only the only one… the other is closed on weekends.  I hit a thrift store and scored some great throw pillows and a lovely comforter cover for the couch.  I love a good bargain.

My cute grandson brought me over flowers and chocolates.

I baked a cherry pie and ate half of it.  Made a pina colada with a banana, some pineapple, coconut milk, and vanilla rum.  I haven’t done anything productive since.  No walk, no healthy food.  Just hid in my room and listened to music while I played on my laptop all day.  The relationship of the M&Ms has been creeping into my head again lately, and much as I try to shake it off, the lonely quiet of my flat gets to me, the feelings of being worthless by default, worthless because of my age.  I look in the mirror and I see gray hair and wrinkles and that I am gaining weight again, probably five pounds.  Ugghhhh…..

JB texted me late.  It’s nice to be in the final thoughts of his day.

 

another week closer to 50

I have been tracking my mood 1-100 and my level of anxiety 1-10 and, surprisingly, over the last 30 days, there has been a vast improvement.  I do not know what I am doing differently.  Is it a physical thing, Continue reading another week closer to 50