Years ago, the family ward I attended always gave out potted marigolds on Mother’s Day. The primary children sang songs and embarrassed their mothers by pulling faces or making rabbit ears for their neighbor, or crying and pulling up their Continue reading Mormon church Mother’s Day gifts→
Today the message was about what keeps us back from coming fully to Christ. One of the object lessons given was of the pastor realizing that he was on the wrong train to the airport. He was in France, not Continue reading just get off the train→
The last few nights have been emotionally difficult. It is hard to be alone when I am married. We celebrated our one month anniversary with a phone call. Is this what I signed up for? Playing house on the weekends Continue reading a daily dose of God→
Session with my therapist today, who had two questions: What would it take to have the courage to face my anxiety without resorting to dysfunctional coping behaviors? What is my plan if my needs cannot be met in my new life? Continue reading just breathe→
It was LDS general conference this weekend. JB and I spent the last two days on our bed (did you catch that? OUR bed) listening to parts of all four sessions, with my laptop streaming the video feed from LDS.org Continue reading a very mormon weekend→
If you have MTHFR you shouldn’t drink. Period. I haven’t had a drink since Friday night, except for a glass of sacramental wine on Sunday. I know, I know… It’s only Tuesday, and this morning my hands were shaking when Continue reading on the subject of wine→
After a couple of days of discussion, I drove the two hours to see JB late Friday night, with plans to return home some time early Saturday afternoon. As usual, I didn’t want to stop the enjoyment of the weekend and Continue reading Weekends are never long enough→
Tis good that church is literally around the corner from me, because I got into the shower at 8:35 AM. Although it would probably take me a good 20 minutes in dress shoes to walk it (or 15 minutes if Continue reading the Fire Within→
The day started out well enough, a late Friday the 13th night beginning of a few enough shots of rum and chocolate, and a two hour chat with a dear friend of mine. We discussed the LDS church and temple recommends. That’s an interesting conversation to have while intoxicated. One step at a time through that emotional minefield.
I ran a few errands Saturday morning. Pharmacy, but only the only one… the other is closed on weekends. I hit a thrift store and scored some great throw pillows and a lovely comforter cover for the couch. I love a good bargain.
My cute grandson brought me over flowers and chocolates.
I baked a cherry pie and ate half of it. Made a pina colada with a banana, some pineapple, coconut milk, and vanilla rum. I haven’t done anything productive since. No walk, no healthy food. Just hid in my room and listened to music while I played on my laptop all day. The relationship of the M&Ms has been creeping into my head again lately, and much as I try to shake it off, the lonely quiet of my flat gets to me, the feelings of being worthless by default, worthless because of my age. I look in the mirror and I see gray hair and wrinkles and that I am gaining weight again, probably five pounds. Ugghhhh…..
JB texted me late. It’s nice to be in the final thoughts of his day.
Work has been relentless. The vicious wolves of deadline pressure have been snarling at my heels for weeks now. My days consist of working Job A starting at 6 am, type 70,000 characters, stop only to take my meds, skip Continue reading Rucksack of Overload→