Session with my therapist today, who had two questions: What would it take to have the courage to face my anxiety without resorting to dysfunctional coping behaviors? What is my plan if my needs cannot be met in my new life? Continue reading just breathe
The anxiety about my upcoming wedding is eating at me, growing every day. I have a countdown clock going; we are down to a few days. I am supposed to pick up my dress on Thursday and head to his Continue reading Are You Sure About This?
Perhaps I am pulling myself back together again, Humpty Dumpty style. Yesterday I did good. Yesterday, I didn’t cut. I didn’t binge. I didn’t starve. I didn’t cry (much). I stayed on task with work. I took about 50% of my Continue reading Humpty Dumpty day
JB began texting me yesterday morning, that he felt his prayers were not being heard, that he had been fasting a lot lately but God was silent to him, that he must know God’s will, and he can’t keep seeing Continue reading don’t go away mad, just go away
For the first time since we resumed communication I did a tarot reading looking for clarification relationship. In my point of view, It’s one of the most accurate readings I have done. It gave no guidance, no hint of a Continue reading Day 30
Email to my counselor: I am afraid to keep seeing you because when I run out of sessions, when you reach that point where you know I am crazy (which you have), then I will feel abandoned because you will Continue reading judgement about me
I have spent the last three weeks dating someone, from start to finish. I don’t like being lonely, and that’s where I am back to. It was empowering to make that choice to let go but I would have rather Continue reading All Endings have a Beginning
It’s been a whirling, churning mad dash through insanity this last several days. Every night I think about this blog and don’t know how to form the words to describe my thought process or my day. Met with my counselor. Continue reading Day 48 – do I care?
Meeting with my psychiatrist last week. She said all kinds of things, about me being far too thin, that she wouldn’t talk to me about food because it would do no good. Why did I go off my meds? Because my Continue reading wanting a road map