94 Days – Ants Don’t Make good Pets

Today I awoke to ants. Little sugar ants all over my desk, hiding under my computers, crawling under my papers, and happily calling their buddies to come haul off the bounty of the granola bar I had left on my desk.

It was 5 AM. I went to WalMart for ant bait. Welcome to your new flat!

Maintenance will be coming to spray on Wednesday and I am told will keep me supplied with all the ant bait I want.

In the afternoon I went for the first walk I have been on in days. The rain had stopped, and it smelled so clean and fresh. I did nearly 2 miles before arriving home. Dinner was leftovers from the night before.

Today I took my meds pretty good but avoided the potassium and the magnesium. No nausea, but I did have a headache, for which I again gave in and took acetaminophen/aspirin, but just one tablet, not two.  Brain fog was much worse than usual. After a B12 injection and a second round of Homocystex and zinc I was able to think more clearly.

My counselor got my email Friday and she called me at home. We visited for about 20 minutes. We talked about the fact that this move has been made more difficult because of the need I have for a life partner, and of course I don’t have one. I don’t even have a good support system. Good? I don’t have a support system. Period.  She came out and said that she doesn’t think any of my current friendships will ever be the kind of relationships I want and deserve, and to continue them in any way will likely hold me back from moving forward into more healthy relationships.

I can’t say that I miss my house, now that I am out of it. It is such a huge burden off my shoulders. I am responsible for fewer people and should have less interruptions. Time to focus on me, right?

Gratitude for today: Talking with my counselor. A beautiful walk. Leftovers for an easy supper. Flat with a couple more things fixed. One more day off. New bottle of zinc that doesn’t make me nauseous.  Counting my blessings!


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